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Welcome to familywisdom.com, a website dedicated to informing and inspiring couples and families. Each week you will find a new article, story or essay about parenting, marriage or life. Suggestions for articles and questions to Ellen Terich are welcome. You can contact her at e.terich1@verizon.net |
LESSON FROM SEAN: BEING TWO 2003-09-16 The fundamental job of a toddler is to rule the universe. Lawrence Kutner Watching my two year old grandson Sean for five or six hours leaves me amazed. Trying to follow him around for that same amount of time leaves me exhausted! Sean is able to rule his universe because he is surrounded by people who love him, keep him safe, and offer him the freedom to explore. Since Sean was very little, in fact, his mother has had a poster above his bed with the title "People who love me" above the pictures of his friends and relatives. If Sean knows anything, it is that he is safe and loved. Sean is most definitely in command of his little world. Everything interests him; every object or situation is something to investigate. He moves from his bedroom where he pretends his bed is a car, to the living room where he plays one of his musical instruments, to the kitchen where he climbs up on a step stool and finds the bag of chocolate chips. Like most two year olds, Sean doesn't walk anywhere; he runs. If there is an adult around, he insists they go with him. For the last two days Sean has had the opportunity to be with his Uncle Terry, someone he hasn't seen in a long time. He wants Uncle Terry with him all the time. When he isn't sitting next to Uncle Terry on the couch, he is dragging him from place to place insisting they explore things together. He wants to scrutinize everything: bugs, books, plants, people, cars, computers, animals, and "Ace." Ace is Sean's three month old sister. Her real name is "Grace" but Sean can't pronounce the "gr" sound so he calls her "Ace." He wants to hug her, kiss her, tickle her and dance in front of her to make her laugh. He sneaks in her room to wake her up because he wants to see her. When his mom tells him to let her sleep he says "no, wakey baby." Sean is talking more and more and repeating everything he hears. Sometimes we'll catch him in his bedroom or outside practicing words and sentences. Other times he'll come up to one of us and say something completely out of the blue. Yesterday he walked up to Uncle Terry and I and made the time out sign with his hands and said "time out" as if it was something he'd been saying for months. His parents don't use that expression so we have no idea where he heard it. Two year olds hear everything, even things we wish they didn't, and are famous for repeating things we don't want them to. Two year olds are also are famous for being "terrible" and that is a shame. Yes, twos are often stubborn and independent, and overly fond of the word "no." But this is only because they are practicing their newly discovered independence. They are becoming real persons. No longer content to be carried around and have things done for them, they want to do everything themselves. "NO, ME DO IT" is one of Sean's favorite sentences. They also want to decide everything for themselves which is why they have so many battles with their adult caretakers. It is unfortunate that we call this exciting developmental stage the "terrible twos" because it gives a negative view to such a wonderfully exciting time of childhood. If we focused a little more on the adventurousness and pure joy of being two, and simply accepted that a little stubbornness is a natural part of growing up, we could all enjoy the two year old a lot more. In spite of all the frustration we sometimes feel when a two year old doesn't want to follow our agenda, we have to acknowledge that the two year old is an inquisitive, courageous, wide-awake person. We can all learn a lot about joy from watching a two year old. And we are all enriched when one of them takes our hand and invites us along on the adventure. |