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Welcome to familywisdom.com, a website dedicated to informing and inspiring couples and families. Each week you will find a new article, story or essay about parenting, marriage or life. Suggestions for articles and questions to Ellen Terich are welcome. You can contact her at e.terich1@verizon.net |
EDUCATED MOTHERS 2002-07-25 A recent news report from Germany noted the country's shortage of professional and skilled workers. As a result of this shortage, foreigners are being recruited to fill many of the positions left unfilled by German citizens. The reasons given for the shortage of workers were the many decades of slow population growth and the fact that women who are having children are staying home to care for them. The German official being interviewed for the story bemoaned the fact that these women, all college educated, were choosing to stay home to raise their children instead of entering the labor market. Many of the women felt it was impossible to pursue a career while their children were young as there was very little daycare available in Germany. Others simply wanted to be home with their children during the preschool years. The official reflected the opinion of many concerned citizens that college educated German mothers ought to be in the labor force as the government had paid for their education and expected something in return. The problem, according to the official, seemed to be creating enough daycare for the women to be able to work. This story troubled me. On the one hand, it was a reflection of how far we've come in terms of equality and rights for women. The college educated women in Germany are valued and needed and it is not patriarchal ideas that are keeping them from pursuing a satisfying lucrative career. This is good news! On the other hand, this story is a manifestation of a disturbing mindset - that educated women belong in the labor market and that a woman's college education is wasted if it is only being used to raise children. When I entered college several decades ago, women were just beginning to pursue careers. However, there was still much bias against women in the workplace. Women's salaries were lower than men's salaries and many careers were closed to women. Women were still told by both men and other women that they belonged at home. But in spite of that, there was a real change in the air. College girls were no longer talking about getting their "MRS degree" as they had been in the fifties, but were pursuing an education for its own sake as well as for a possible future career. Most of my peers planned to marry and have a family and thought an education would only improve their minds, their lives and their children's lives. Many planned to work for a while, take time off when their children were young and go back to work later, when the children were in school. They never thought their education was a waste of time and money. Like my peers I couldn't imagine how learning could ever be a waste of time. Today, most women in America go to college not just to become educated but to begin a lifetime career. Marriage and children don't take them out of the labor force except for a brief maternity leave. We have more daycare here than in Germany (although by all accounts not nearly enough quality care) and women frequently find themselves juggling multiple roles. The good thing is that women have choices. Women who must work as well as women who choose to work are able to. On the other hand, there seem to be a growing number of college educated women in America who are choosing to stay home for their children's preschool years, even though continuing to work would bring in considerable income. I applaud these women and wish more women had the financial freedom to have that choice. This isn't because I want to set back the clock and send all women back to being housewives, but because I think children benefit from having their mothers with them, even (maybe especially) their college educated mothers. We know that most children prefer to spend time with their parents. In most cases, no one cares quite as much about a child as its own parents. No one is as attentive, as concerned about safety, as bonded to a child as its mother. Granted, children are adaptable and often do fairly well in a daycare situation, but studies show that most would choose to stay home with mom or dad if given the choice. In addition, children benefit from the knowledge of their parents, who are, of course, their first teachers. College educated mothers can give their children a wonderful first education at home. Some have a good understanding of child development and know how to provide enrichment activities for their children. They may have a good understanding of how to handle emotions, how to help a child learn to read, how to instill values, how to teach a child about the world and his/her place in it. So I think Germany has it half right and half wrong. They are right in asserting that college educated women could help fill the labor shortage every bit as effectively as college educated men. But the part that they have wrong is that which says a college education is wasted on women if they temporarily leave the labor market to care for their children. We once lived in a society that insisted women stay home with children. It isn't much better for women - and especially for the children of those women - for society to insist that all women must enter the labor market. Maybe it's time to realize that raising children to succeed in this highly complex world requires skillful and dedicated caretakers. We must assure that women who must or who choose to work can find excellent daycare, supervised by educated, loving and intelligent men and women. We must also, I believe, acknowledge that having a college education is a great advantage for all women, not only in seeking careers, but also in raising their children. A woman's education is never wasted if she is using it to make the world a better place by raising intelligent, secure, and loving children. |