| |
 |
 |
 |
Welcome to familywisdom.com, a website dedicated to informing and inspiring couples and families. Each week you will find a new article, story or essay about parenting, marriage or life. Suggestions for articles and questions to Ellen Terich are welcome. You can contact her at e.terich1@verizon.net |
SWIMMING LESSONS 2006-06-30 Summertime means swimming lessons for the little ones, and my grandchildren are no exception. Their mother has enrolled Grace (3) and Sean (5) in the same class as they are both beginners and she has plans to begin "mommy and me" classes with Madeline in a few weeks, as soon as Sean and Grace are more comfortable with their lessons. Sean had some lessons two years ago but was so resistant that his mother gave up. Last year she was having a difficult pregnancy and couldn't take them to the pool, so Sean is starting again, two years after his last failed lessons. He is more willing to try now, being of a more reasonable age, but he still has some fear. Unlike his baby sister Madeline, who has not yet developed fear of the water, Sean knows that pools can be dangerous if you don't know how to keep afloat. Using the heroes of "Star Wars" as examples of bravery has helped to encourage him, however. Seeing his friends happily jump into the water helps as well. And having a firm mother who tells him he has no choice in the matter is another plus. From a very young age, Sean has been fearful of new things, acutely aware of the dangers that such situations represent. His tendency to be fearful is probably innate, as he has neither been exposed to traumatic events nor raised by an overprotective mother. But if Sean is to move ahead in life, not only in learning to swim, but in every other new situation he faces, he will have to learn to challenge his timid nature. I went to the children's first swimming lesson and told Sean two things: even Luke Skywalker was afraid of new things at first, but he didn't let that stop him; and Sean had to be an example to his little sister, who looked up to him. Sean responded well to both suggestions and in the first day of lessons did show more courage than his sister, who clung to the steps and refused to let the instructor take her out into the deeper water. The next day, however, she had a little more courage and ventured out into the water with the instructor, although she kept her eyes tightly shut the whole time. The third day reminded me of the poet Robert Burns' line about "the best-laid schemes o' mice and men" often going astray, as Gracie developed an infection in her foot and had to stop lessons for a while, leaving Sean to go unaccompanied and with no motivation to be brave as an example to his little sister. Fortunately, Sean had gotten something of a rhythm going and seemed to have the courage to carry on. When he faltered at one point and resisted the instructions of his teacher, his mother firmly told him he had to do it and he did. As mothers, our natural instinct is to protect and soothe our children when they experience uncomfortable feelings. From the time our children are infants, we work to comfort them when they are afraid, using our arms and words to keep fear at bay. So it is somewhat unnatural to push them to do something when they are fearful, but good mothers do it anyway. Sometimes, it is easier for a father to encourage a child who is afraid, as fathers either don't have or don't give into the strong and instinctive feelings a mother has. But dad isn't always there, and so mothers have to learn to overcome their own protective instincts and push their children to take risks and try things that are not easy. It isn't just children that must show courage when they first learn to swim. Their mothers need to show it too. |